Save me
by Tsvety
Summary: Kelly needed to be saved, Erin needed to save somebody...Matt needed to choose whom to save first. When Kelly has no friends left and his path crossed with Lindsay's after Nadia's murder, would she find the strength to help him and save his friendship with Casey? ONE-SHOT, post 3x22 (Fire) and 2x21 (PD)


_Warning_ _: The story contains spoilers for season 3, 2 and 1 of Chicago Fire, and season 2x21 of Chicago PD._

 _Disclaimer_ _: I do not own any of the characters or the plot of Chicago Fire and Chicago PD. I do not own the text taken directly from the show. This story is intended for fun only and I am not making any money with it!_

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 **A/N: This is not a romance story. It is all about friendship and support.**

 **A/N: Casey comes into focus after the first half of the story, please be patient. :)**

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 **Save me**

It was just a random bar, the first one he encountered, because he had nowhere else to go…it was a bar that wasn't Molly's, a bar where nobody knew who he was, where nobody would blame him for choosing to be a friend first and a Lieutenant second. A friend was what he needed the most, not his job, and seemed as if he had none left. It was a bar where nobody would blame him for anyone's death, where nobody knew what demons had pushed him into looking for comfort in the golden liquid in the glass in his hands. Or so he believed.

Kelly was sitting at a table for two at the rear of the bar, a bottle of whiskey in front of him. He was alone with the pain – the physical pain coming from his chest that he had hurt by stopping a burning car from claiming another life. And the other pain that was million times worse – the pain caused by the people leaving him – April, Andy, Shay, Rice, the pain caused by Casey's words, the pain caused by having no friends, no shoulder to cry on, nobody. His dark shirt and the dim light were matching his mood, the smell of alcohol reminding him what a failure he was.

" _Like when you decided Squad doesn't vent right before Darden went up in flames?"_ Matt's words sounded in his head, shattering his heart into tiny, sharp pieces.

"Screw you, Casey." Kelly uttered, pain radiating from his voice. He took a sip of the comforting liquid, then another one, and another one, his mind getting foggy…

" _We'll be okay."_ Shay had reassured him after Kara had accused him of sexual harassment two years earlier.

" _I don't trust anyone in this world other than you."_ He heard himself saying, Shay just looking at him, her eyes saying it all.

But there was no "we" anymore, there was nobody he could trust…Matt had done a lot to help him deal with Shay's death, had been there for him, and Kelly had believed the blonde Lieutenant was his friend, a brother…

Kelly couldn't believe Casey was still blaming him for Andy's death. It hurt.

He left the empty glass on the table and grabbed the half-empty bottle to pour himself another shot…just one more, and he would forget. But just when his hand landed on the whiskey, a sharp pain went through his shoulder, a drunk twenty-something boy brushing past him…

Xxx

Bunny placed another full shot glass in from of her daughter, no words escaping her lips. Erin's face twisted in a painful grimace and she fixed her eyes on the alcohol, having had two shots already, the world and the people around her irrelevant…she wasn't drunk, not even tipsy, the image of Nadia's dead body embedded in her mind…the girl she had tried saving from the streets of Chicago, the girl who was now dead because of her…Erin rested her fingers on her badge, her index finger rubbing circles around the cold metal…how could she carry that badge and help people when she couldn't save her best friend and roommate…

Lindsay let go of the badge, her hand extending in the direction of the alcohol, when she heard commotion coming from the rear of the bar. Bunny turned her head around to see who was disturbing the peace in her bar, Erin glancing at the figure of a good-looking man seizing a younger boy by the collar…and even though she couldn't see his face, she recognized him. He was a man she knew well, her fireman…

"Every - " Bunny growled, taking a step forward to get her mobile and call the police, but her daughter used her hand as a barrier to stop her.

"Don't."

"Erin - "

"I'll take care of it." Lindsay instructed, not waiting to hear her mother's response.

Slowly, she neared Kelly from behind…

"Say it again!" Severide hissed, balling up his fist. But just when his brain instructed his hand to deliver a punch, a soft hand grabbed his. He was barely standing on his feet, but he turned around, not releasing his grip on the asshole, his glassy eyes meeting Erin's.

"He's not worth it." The Detective said in a firm voice, the blank expression on his face similar to the look on hers.

It took a few seconds for his foggy mind to make sense of the words. Kelly cast a glance upon his opponent, his clasp loosening. "Get the hell outta here." He bellowed, finally letting go. The other guy was out of the bar in seconds. Kelly huffed and sat on the chair next to him, opting to pour some more whiskey in his glass instead of saying anything to Erin. She watched him empty the glass, but before he could get hold of the bottle again, she took it from the table and handed it to Bunny, who was a few steps behind her.

"Hey!" Kelly's face twisted in a grimace without him realizing it. He shot her a glance, raising his eyebrows.

"You've had enough." Erin's husky voice was trembling…it sounded weak, weaker than ever.

Kelly shook his head for a no, ignoring the nausea, and got up, grabbing his jacket. "Other bars." He murmured. But before he got the chance to take a step, his feet betrayed him and he landed back on the chair.

Erin sighed before pulling out the second chair and sitting opposite him so they could have eye contact. She motioned for Bunny to come closer, her lips whispering "coffee".

"Thought you were beyond this, Kelly."

"You're…here too…" His voice trailed off, his movements already sluggish.

Lindsay couldn't keep the tears welling in her eyes under control any longer…one after another, they rolled down her cheeks. "Got Nadia…killed" She uttered for a second time in the past hour.

"Got…Got Andy killed." Kelly mumbled, his eyes meeting Erin's, none of them daring to break the silence until Bunny returned and placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of the Lieutenant. Kelly completely ignored the hot beverage, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead.

Lindsay understood…it wasn't all because of Shay, it wasn't because the one-year anniversary of her death was in a few days. The pain that had dragged the strong fireman into the bar had multiple other sources…

"Andy chose to jump through the window himself." Erin uttered, having not witnessed the scene herself, but she had heard the story many times, from many different people. She found the strength to push her own pain away…deep down she knew she had to save that fireman, because Kelly was already one foot over the edge and if she let him carry the guilt a bit longer, he would fall into a deep hole and never return.

"You weren't there." Severide snarled.

"Ask Casey…he was there, right?"

The moment Lindsay saw Kelly clench his fists so tight that his knuckles turned white, it was clear the problem had something to do with the blond Lieutenant. "Talk to me." She pushed, resting her hand on top his, his body trembling.

"Just…leave me…the hell…ALONE!" Kelly raised his voice, making another attempt to stand up, Lindsay pushing him back down…she couldn't let him go, not in that state of mind, not so drunk that he couldn't control his body.

"I can't." Erin grimaced. "Already lost too many people I care about."

Severide didn't reply. _"Always."_ Their promise echoed in his mind, the promise that was now broken. He covered his face with his hands, building a barrier between himself and the rest of the world, unable to see the tears escaping Lindsay's eyes. She leaned back in her chair and pulled out her mobile, about to do the only sensible thing.

Xxx

It was after midnight already, but Matt was sitting on the couch, alone, a glass of milk in front of him…he knew milk wouldn't help him sleep, but he had to try, because he was beyond tired. His mind was preoccupied with worry, regret, sadness…he had been sitting on that couch for over five hours, staring at the TV at first, then at the door, expecting Kelly to finally come home…Casey had regretted his words the moment he had said them – of course he couldn't blame his best friend for Andy's death. Matt had let his emotions control him, had rubbed salt into an open wound, one of the many Kelly carried.

Casey knew his friend wasn't at Molly's – how could he had gone there when everyone was questioning his judgement? He had called Capp, and Tony, and Rice – none of them had seen their Lieutenant after their last shift when Kelly had risked his life to make sure everyone was safe.

Matt forced his brain to come up with an idea where Kelly could had gone…instead it came up with a painful realization and Casey almost slapped himself in the face for not seeing it earlier. Had he been so stuck in his own problems, in his side job and his drama with Dawson, that he hadn't noticed how everyone had left Kelly, how his friend was all alone, how he had nowhere to go, no real friend to talk to?

Casey's phone buzzed on the table. He glanced at the id of the caller, Antonio, and his heart nearly came to a stop…a call from Antonio at 1am meant troubles - with his undercover job, with Gabby, with Kelly even…

"What's up, Antonio."

" _Severide."_

"What's - "

" _He's okay. Drunk but okay. Lindsay called five minutes ago. Apparently she's gone to her mom's bar for a few drinks…She's taking Nadia's death hard. So she's found him there alone with a bottle of whiskey, about to beat the hell out of another guy…She wants you to go there and fix whatever's going on between you and Severide."_

"I will" Matt uttered, looking around to locate his keys.

" _I'll text you the address._

"Thanks." Matt got up, grabbed his jacket and keys, and headed for the door.

Even though it was very early in morning, it took him half an hour to get to the bar, only a handful of people still inside. He stopped at door and looked around, his eyes finally landing on the motionless figure of his friend, his head positioned on Erin's shoulder, her hands wrapped around his back in a tight hug, Lindsay's eyes red, tear marks on her face.

"Hey." Her hoarse voice greeted the blonde Lieutenant when he neared them, forcing Kelly to pull out of her clasp.

Severide cast a glance upon Matt before turning his head to look in the opposite direction.

"Good job on that car." Casey uttered, all other words he wanted to say getting stuck under the lump that had formed in his throat.

Kelly just shook his head, using one hand to wipe away the tears in his eyes. He had no idea if he was still drunk, but it was as if his mind was sober, able to feel the pain again, the loneliness, a hole where his heart was supposed to be…

"Okay, what's going on between the two of you?" Erin demanded.

Matt didn't reply immediately and instead pulled out another chair and sat down, searching for the right words.

"Listen, I didn't mean - "

"Don't need your pity, Casey!" Kelly snapped, rising to his feet. He kicked the front right leg of the chair as if to make his point, and turned around, locating the door. "I'll come to your place to get my stuff tomorrow."

"And go where?" Matt barked, getting up, ready to go after his friend if necessarily.

"I'll figure it out." Severide snarled, already halfway to the door.

"Casey!" Erin bellowed, knowing all too well she wasn't the one Kelly needed, it was the blond-haired Lieutenant who had to fix what was broken.

"Severide!" Matt caught up with Kelly, Severide's body still under the control of the alcohol, even though Squad's Lieutenant could not feel it. Casey stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed Kelly by the arm, forcing him to turn around. "My home is your home."

"Can't - "

"It wasn't your fault." Matt mumbled, finding talking about Andy incredibly hard even though Darden had been gone for nearly three years. "It wasn't my fault either. It just happened…he disobeyed me, I didn't stop him, you didn't have the chance to vent."

"Shut up…just SHUT…UP!"

"No! Listen, we all knew what our jobs entail before be signed up." Casey shot a glance at Erin before focusing his attention back on Severide. "We deal with the consequences differently. But at the end of the day, we have each other! You have me, and Erin, the same way she has you and Voight, and her unit."

Matt breathed a sigh of relief when Kelly finally met his eyes, the tears welling in his eyes threatening to fall.

"We'll go through this together, I promise." Erin whispered, needing him as much as he needed her.

Severide nodded, letting Matt guide him back to his chair, Lindsay following them in silence.

" _Always."_ Shay smiled at him. "Always" Kelly whispered to himself, finally taking a sip of his cold coffee.

"I think we all need coffee now." Matt suggested, his voice loud enough for Bunny to hear it.

"And food." Erin added, relaxing in the chair.

And they talked about their pain, and their worries, and their guilt, they talked about all the good moments they had had with each other, until the morning sun rose. Because for Kelly, it made all the difference to have a friend, or two…because Erin proved herself she was still able to help people… because Matt realized that sometimes helping a good friend could be more important than any side job and any girl…

 **THE END**

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 **Okay, this idea didn't leave me alone until I wrote this One-Shot. I really think now is the best time for Erin and Kelly to reconnect, they can help each other get through the hard times, even if they are just friends. It is also a very good time for Matt to be there for Kelly, and the other way around of course.**

 **So what do you think? Please review and thanks a lot for reading! :)**


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